


but I wanna hold ya

by kickassfu



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Geralt's POV, M/M, a lil bit of angst, and thinks it's one sided, because geralt is yearning, because he's an idiot lol, lots of cuss words, they kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: And yes, Geralt loves Jaskier. But he didn’t fall in love with him, no. Because he didn’t fall at all. Nothing so violent, or hurtful, as falling. No. He was pulled gently into it, little by little. Pulled into Jaskier’s warm embrace and kind words.Geralt doesn’t believe in destiny, but he knows him loving Jaskier was inevitable.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 32
Kudos: 360





	but I wanna hold ya

**Author's Note:**

> i got this prompt on tumblr: geraskier are so used to sharing a bed that when they get to separate beds in the middle of the night geralt says fuck it and cuddles up to jaskier?
> 
> and i tried!! at first i thought it was gonna be a funny fic, and ended up being more yearning than funny lool hope y'all enjoy it anyway!

At first it’s a bit bothersome, sharing a bed with someone else, sharing a bed with _Jaskier_. 

It all starts off very innocently as well, a necessity more than anything else; there is only one room, with one bed - what else are they supposed to do? Geralt isn’t going to sleep on the floor, not after weeks of camping out in forests. Jaskier... _well_ , Jaskier actually laughs in Geralt’s face at the idea of _him_ sleeping on the floor, so they compromise. Decide that the bed is big enough for two.

_And it is._

Geralt has never slept better; feeling Jaskier’s warmth right next to him, listening to his heartbeat, his slow breaths - it’s like fucking magic. So, if from then on, Geralt never complains about sleeping together. Well, no one can blame him for it.

Not that he’ll ever tell Jaskier about it.

But it becomes more than that. It turns into them sleeping together when they camp out, so Jaskier isn’t cold, even if it isn’t that cold outside. It’s about saving coin. It’s about-

_It’s about…_

Well, it’s about anything and everything Geralt can give reason to. Without actually saying the truth. And Jaskier never questions him, takes what he says at face value with a smile, _trusts_ him. Even as Geralt craves him, and he has no idea of it.

How Geralt yearns to comb Jaskier’s hair away from his eyes, to fall asleep with him in his arms, to lay his head on Jaskier’s lap as he sings to him; there’s a multitude of feelings and wants and wishes, deep inside his chest, that he pushes down and down and down, until he can’t fucking breathe as he chokes on them all.

It’s all the little things that set him off.

Jaskier’s smile, his hands, his voice, how no matter what happens he’s always right there next to Geralt, willing to help, with a funny quip even as concern clouds his blue eyes. If Geralt was a poet, like Jaskier is, he would have spent days, months, _years_ , making poetry about Jaskier’s eyes.

And yes, Geralt loves Jaskier. But he didn’t _fall_ in love with him, no. Because he didn’t fall at all. Nothing so violent, or hurtful, as falling. No. He was pulled gently into it, little by little. Pulled into Jaskier’s warm embrace and kind words.

Geralt doesn’t believe in destiny, but he _knows_ him loving Jaskier was inevitable.

There’s no other possible outcome.

Every step of the way would always get them here.

He’s also used to them being separated, and having to sleep alone; except when he pays for the company, when everything gets too unbearable. But if he’s with him, it’s gotten to the point where he can’t sleep unless Jaskier’s right next to him. It’s pathetic, he’d never admit it to anyone but-

 _Fuck_.

It’s the truth though.

Which is why he’s now at an impasse. 

They asked for one room. _Together._ And the owner assumed...well, apparently she assumed they wanted two beds.

Which he didn’t- _doesn’t_. At all.

“Oh, two beds.” Jaskier says, surprised. And maybe it’s wishful thinking but he also sounds disappointed, “Guess you’ll be able to stretch your huge body as you sleep tonight.” but then he jokes, and yes, it’s probably just Geralt’s wishful thinking.

“Hm.” because what else can he say? Besides _‘I’d rather sleep cramped with you in my arms, than to not sleep at all.’_

Jaskier just smiles at him as he readies to sleep, without saying much else. It isn’t exactly unusual, but also, _definitely_ , not very normal either. Maybe he’s tired.

And yes, Geralt is focusing on Jaskier because if not, he’d have to focus on how he’s feeling about not being able to sleep with him. Which is _bad_. It’s a bad, shitty, feeling and he already knows he isn’t going to be able to sleep very well, or at all. But he can’t just come out and say it.

It’s ridiculous.

He refuses.

“Goodnight Geralt.” Jaskier interrupts his thoughts, already in bed prepared to sleep. When the fuck did he get in bed? How long has Geralt been standing like an idiot in the middle of the room, not moving? Making quick work of it, Geralt takes off his clothes and gets into the other bed.

“Goodnight.” it’s said quickly, and strained. He fucking hates how needy he’s feeling, how he needs to stump it down so he doesn’t whine out loud. He also hates that Jaskier has his back to him, that he can’t see his face.

There’s silence.

And more silence.

And-

“Are you cold?” Geralt asks, instead of what he really means to say. _As always._ He can’t help but hope though. That Jaskier knows, that he understands, that-

“No.”

_Oh._

More silence again, and it’s deafening; even though he can hear Jaskier’s heart beat faster instead of slower, can hear his uncontrolled breathing.

“Bloody hell, you’re so frustrating.” he hears Jaskier whisper, and isn’t sure if it’s said so he can hear it or not. Even through the dark, he sees Jaskier turn to him, hears the bed creak underneath his weight. “I know you’re not very good with words sometimes. But you could always _do_ something about it.” 

“I…” he doesn’t know what to say, or do. Can he really just get up, and join him in his bed? Is that what he’s saying? Is that him giving Geralt his consent to do so? No. He’s probably misreading the situation.

Jaskier scoots over on the bed so there’s more space and picks up his blankets, as an invitation; it sounds like he’s stifling a laugh but Geralt can’t be sure.

Fuck it. Enough overthinking. Getting up he pads to the other bed, settling in besides Jaskier.

Warm. So warm. 

They’re lying face to face, looking at each other (even though he doubts Jaskier can see much of anything), their noses almost touching and Geralt feels something inside him settle. He swallows dry, and tries to talk, is surprised that the words actually do come out, “How long have you known?”

“It wasn’t very hard to figure out, with your many excuses for us to sleep together. How much faster you fall asleep when we sleep together. How when we finally meet up after a while you look like you haven’t slept in weeks.” Jaskier lists off, smiling.

Oh. So he didn’t realize he loves him. That’s a relief? It should be a relief. Why does his heart hurt instead?

“ _Right._ ”

Jaskier boops his nose, and winks, “Now now, no getting down on yourself. I have already done most of the work here, you need to do something at least. Three words or less, seeing as you are a man of action.”

Geralt cups his cheek, “May I kiss you?”

“Well, that’s four words actually.”

“ _Jaskier_.”

“I thought you’d never ask. _Literally._ I thought you would die before you actually-” Jaskier is interrupted by Geralt’s lips on his. 

_Blessed silence._

They take their time, soft, tender kisses. Chaste. When they pull apart, Jaskier starts talking again, “If you think you will be able to stop me from-”

Geralt interrupts him again. Having learned a neat little trick to quiet Jaskier down, Geralt knows he will use it a lot in the future. And now that he has him in his arms, truly, he can finally cuddle with him as much as he wants to.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


End file.
